The Party Poopers

Well, I guess it had to happen eventually, now that I've finally surrendered completely to my SillyGene(ius)®: I'm working on another cover version.

This time around, Genesis' "Carpet Crawlers" from their landmark 1974 album "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" is 'the victim'. May Peter Gabriel forgive me!

Carpet Crawlers on YouLube

Okay, the title of the cover version is going to be:

The Party Poopers

Here are some lyrics fragments I've come up with, so far:

There is lamb stool under my naked feet
The stool is soft and warm, gives off some kind of heat
A silly rabbit scurries into the loo to get relief
Don't follow him back in there, there's bound to be... some mief!*

The fleas cling to the golden fece hoping they'll find a piece...

The stool covers the floor in the red-ocre corridor...

Chorus:
The party poopers don't use scoopers
They just wanna get in to get it ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-out
They just wanna get in to get it ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-out
They just wanna get in to get it ouuuuu-out!

There's only one direction in the traces that I see
It's upward to the third floor where the loo is said to be...

Okay, that's what I've got, so far. And, you know, some things just can remain in unchanged, like this:

"The liquid has congealed which has seeped out through the crack..."

Oh boy! I think I'm in trouble now...

Hey! Maybe I should do a complete cover album and call it "The Lamb Squats Down On Broadway"...

For the record: I totally love the original tune! The whole "Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" album was like a revelation to me when I heard it for the first time when it was released back in 1974. (Yeah, I am that old...)

I didn't get what most of the lyrics meant back then (still don't get some of them over thirty years later... Mr. Gabriel, Sir! You got some 'splainin' to do!), but I was fascinated, mesmerized, nonetheless.

---

* Mief - noun, German, meaning: unpleasant smell.

So You Wanted To Know More About...

Okay, after receiving countless inquiries, with people wanting to know more about me, what I look like, where I live, etc., I've decided to be brave and peek out of my cave for a bit.

It is true: I am a hermit. (Hermann can confirm that... and, once again, he did not deliver any milk today...)

And I do live in a cave (with high speed Internet access). Look:


Man, the acoustics are great in here...ere...ere!

No need for an expensive confusion reverb...erb...erb...

First New Tune In Ages

When I made the choice to completely focus on my artistic side upon my return to Germany, I had "soundscapes of epic proportions" in mind, and I still do for the MagmaSonic project, to which this domain is the "home on the web".

However, the first new tune that "came out of me in ages" was something completely different. Maybe my new (and at the same time very old) surroundings "infected me with the Volksmusik bug", maybe my SillyGene(ius)® (which has taken over completely) is responsible. We may never know... ;-)

It all started one day, when I was walking through the streets of Sleepytown, Germany (the small mountain village where I grew up), and all of a sudden, I had some lyric fragments and a melody for an oompah tune popping into my mind. (That's popping... not pooping... even though that would work for me, too... creative mind fertilizer, you know?)

Then the fine folks over at the Production forums "foolishly" encouraged me to enter the song contest on their site, even though I was so totally not ready, yet, for any "serious" music. I was eventually going to do a cover version of my favorite Bob Seger tune "Turn the Page", but that would have had to wait until 2008. So I resorted to bugging an old band buddy of mine from 30 years back, who has had a nice recording studio for many years and lives just a stone throw away. Armed with the more-or-less completed lyrics and the melody in my head, we sat down one day shortly before the end of 2007 to record this fun-spirited little oompah tune (with a touch of techno sprinkled in for good measure) in a matter of about 3-4 hours. Now get ready for this tune to get stuck in your head for days, once you listen to it. You have been warned! ;=)

Stream it from here:

http://www.myspace.com/sillytworocks

Or download it from here:

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6116074

What you hear is really me singing there. Yup, I have no shame! ;=)

We layered my voice about 10 times to make it sound like a whole "gang of beer drinkers" singing there. (A little trick my ole band buddy adapted from Queen: "Mama-mia, mama-mia, mama-mia, let me go! Magnifico-oh-oh!" Insert some serious headbanging here...)

Oh, and I did "channel my inner Heino" (a once very popular german oompah music singer) when I conjured up the appropriate singing style for "Bier für Mir!"

There is a whole slew of funny remixes in the works that shall start seeing the light of day as soon as I have finished optimizing and fine-tuning my computer recording workstation. So stay tuned for more "Beer for Me!"

What? You already wanna know more about those remixes now? Okay, here are a few teasers.

First up, the full-length version of "the original", with another one or two raunchy verses and lots of gimmicky sound effects. (I can already hear this version coming out of every tent this Octoberfest in Munich!)

Next up: a "Germlish" remix, with a German-English word salad the likes of which the world has never witnessed... ;=)

Also in the works: a Japenglish karaoke remix! With all new Japenglish lyrics: "Sake and Shiitake, Hai, Kampai!"(This version is the mega-hit in the Japanese download charts this year, and still in 2009! I can already see the staggering download numbers in perfect clarity!)

And then there's the "Alm-mighty" remix... ("Alm" is the German word for a mountain meadow where them cows graze... there are a lot of Alms in the Alps, so prepare yourself for Alphorns in this remix... Toooooot! ;+)

After I've brushed up on my rusty Spanish skills, the tune shall receive the Spanglish remix treatment, too. "Cerveza por Mesa!"

Maybe I should do a Frenglish remix, too. My girlfriend always tells me that my French is very good, and I don't even speak the language... ;+)

And for those who can't get enough of "vocal acrobatics": I'm also creating an a-capella / vocalizer remix, with just my voice filling in for all the instruments. (Yup, Bobby McFerrin has been a great teacher! Thanks, Bobby, and "don't worry, I'm happy"!) Now is the perfect time to figure out how my shiny new E-Mu sampler, the mighty fine Emulator X2, actually works...

Once all those remixes are done and the endless stream of cash from all those downloads around the globe starts flooding in, it should be about time to start touring with "The Stumbling BeerBunnies®". Participating in the Calgary Stampede on July 4 seems like a good starting point for our world tour. What, you never heard of "The Stumbling BeerBunnies®"?

Well, witness "history in the making" here...

(Please note: don't drink any beverages while reading those posts... I won't clean up your computer monitor for you! ;+)

Lucky Dawg!

As you know, I've only recently gotten back into making music. I'm thinking about doing a cover version of Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Lucky Man"...



...but I'm not sure about my new lyrics, yet:


I have big ballses
And Ladies by the score
All dressed in Latex
And drooling on the floor...

Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!
Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!

Anastasia* and Jewell*
They make up my bed
A lube-covered mattress
On which I get laid...

Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!
Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!

(Tearing it up on the solo... TommyO!)

I go out to score
For my Country** and my King**
Of my Honor**, and my Glory**
The Ladies do sing!

Oooh, what a Naughty Man I am!
Oooh, what a Naughty Man I am!

The Mistress*** has found me
My sweat runs, as I try
But no pleading can save me
So I lie down and comply...

Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!
Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!

That doesn't sound quite right, now does it? Please give me your honest opinion!

---

*Or replace with your favorite Fetish Goddesses
**Cannot be shown here, unless I wanna lose my PG-rating...
***Please don't tell Aradia, Isabella, Jean, Nicolette, Rubberdoll or Sara about this... or else I'm in deep doo-doo!

Take A Look At My Gear, Friend...

... it's the only one I got. Not a whole lot of gear, friend, I never seem to need a lot. I take a jumbo, 'cross da water, growing roots in Canada..."

Well, if you've been around long enough on this-here planet, you probably got the thinly-veiled Supertramp reference. If not... no biggie... on with the show...

So you wanna see my gear, huh? Well, you see, it's not that kind of journal here. This is a PG-rated journal! So I'm just gonna show you that other gear of mine that I use to create my musical masterpieces. ("Now where's my modesty? I swear, I still had it a second ago. Must've misplaced it... Maybe it's under the sofa cushion? Nope, just the remote and some popcorn kernels...")

For starters, here's my cute "Mini Les Paul", my li'l Firefox.

She's only 78 centimeters tall (that's ~31" for you non-metric -- or was that asymmetric? -- folks), but she rocks my world. It's true what they say: good things come in small packages. Here's some additional proof:

MyFutureWife^(sm) Cherokee (4'11") -- another good thing in a small package! (What's that gotta do with music, you ask? Simple: you may be a serious guitar god and all, but the highest art form is to give your personal goddess the greatest fine-tuning you possibly can. If you do, I can assure you that the sounds you create that way are truly divine!)

Now, if you can refocus here on those other instruments, please? Yes, I know she's gorgeous! Do you have any idea what I'm going through, trying to focus on anything but her? Thank you!

Here's more of my gear:


That's my x-rated girlfriend¹⁾ who sits on my lap, all the time. (Yes, I do enjoy them lap dances, thank you very much!)

I have it on good authority that she recorded my pleasure moans during one of those lap dances with this thing²⁾:


And then she put me in a sensory deprivation chamber, with these things³⁾ on my ears, and I'm still recovering from that BrainStorm experience:


How do they say in those infomercials? "But wait! There's more!" Exactly. Look:


The one lone survivor⁴⁾ from my musical endeavors from 15+ years ago. It has some cool layered sounds, and it has not only a stereo mix output, but six individual outs, as well. Perfect for getting plugged into those six analog ins on the mighty fine E-MU 1616m (my audio interface of choice for my "top-notch recording studio for a grand" project), providing instant surround sound bliss:

And finally, when I'm in a mood to channel Ian Anderson, these fine flutes see some action:


My, oh my, my traverse flute is in dire need for some TLC. Does anybody have some good tips how to get the silver all shiny again? The flute is obviously too big to fit in one of those silver baths, and those silver cleaning cloths don't get into all those nooks and crannies...

That's it for the instruments, for now. What? You wanna take a look at my studio, too? Okay then... Well, the acoustics are just totally awesome! I don't need no 'spensive confusion reverb, no siree!

---

¹⁾E-MU xBoard 49
²⁾Sennheiser E815S
³⁾Sennheiser HD 280 Pro
⁴⁾Roland D-110

A Trip Down Memory Lane

How did John Lennon put it? "Life is what happens while you are making plans." Or something along those lines...

My, my... time certainly flies while life is happening. It practically seems like yesterday when "I got my first real six-string" and set out to become a "rock god". (See Mr. Adam's "Summer of '69" for details about how that turned out.) Yet, that was over 30 years ago...

Going back even further for a moment: In my early teens, I got electrocuted by the first tube-based stereo amplifier I built from old tube radios that people had put curbside, and I was "hooked" on electronics gear ever since. ;)

When the "rock god thing" didn't pan out, my next goal was to become a Tonmeister, but I found out quickly that -- due to a lack of formal classical instrument training -- that door was closed to me. So I did the next best thing and became an electronics engineer, always keeping my love for music alive as a hobby.

Around the time I held my graduation papers in my hands, I added one of the very first keyboards equipped with a MIDI interface to my growing instrument collection: a Crumar Bit One. I loved its rich, analog sounds, and the fact that I could control it with precise parameters that I could store internally and recall at any time.

It wasn't until a few years later that I actually got a computer with a MIDI interface - an Atari ST - that could do something with its (very basic) MIDI implementation, but not without the proper software.

So the time had come for C-Lab's Notator, a (for its time) quite advanced MIDI sequencer program that even could print scores! Very cool! (BTW: That software is the great-granddaddy of today's Apple Logic.)

Notator couldn't really do much with my Crumar Bit One (because of its very limited, first-generation MIDI implemention), so the desire for more (MIDI-)capable gear arose. Enter the Roland MT-32 - the first sound module compatible with the General MIDI (GM) standard. By today's quality standards, that unit probably qualifies only as a "white noise generator", but back then I was so impressed with its sounds: the strings, the church organ, and let's not forget: Shakuhachi forever! :)

Of course, there was always something better lurking around the corner, and soon the amazing sounds of the MT-32 were seriously topped by one of Ray Kurzweil's first instrument creations: the stunningly realistic-sounding Kurzweil K-1000.

Of course, there had to be a way to mix the audio outputs of all three devices, and enjoying being on "the leading edge" (sometimes "the bleeding edge" was more like it), I opted for one of the first computer-controlled mixers (the very first?) - a Doepfer CCM. It was a DIY kit, so it was time to get my soldering gear busy. When it was finally built, a second Atari computer had to be added to run its (sluggish) control program.

Despite all the shortcomings (by today's standards), it was "the coolest thing on the block", and one could even make great-sounding music with the whole setup.

Still, somehow my interest waned, once the whole computer-based recording studio was built, and my busy job also left me with less and less time to get creative with it.

The MT-32's big brother, the Roland D-110, got added to the mix a couple years later when it came out, and while it was a huge improvement over the MT-32, all my gear started seeing less and less action, collecting dust, and eventually got auctioned off on eBay for pennies on the dollar.

For quite a few years, I thought I was done with my once so beloved hobby. General disenchantment with what the big music conglomerates had been churning out since the 90s made me turn away even further from music.

So why am I sharing all this? Because, miraculously, buried in all this general disenchantment with music was a small seed, and eventually that seed sprouted and grew into a renewed passion for creating music.

So, here I am in 2007, getting ready "to show those Sony BMGs and Universals of this world" that real music is alive and kicking! (Modesty is overrated, don't you think? ;)

Of course, the landscape of computer-based music creation has completely changed since I dabbled with those Atari computers and my trusty ole MIDI devices (of which the D-110, surprisingly, is still around as "the last survivor").

That pretty much means unlearning most of "the old ways" and familiarizing myself with a "brave new electronic music creation world". (Okay, the basics of MIDI are still the same; analog synths -- or their VST counterparts -- still have VCOs, VCFs, LFOs etc. as their basic functional units; the fundamental principles of mixing and mastering haven't changed; and nothing can replace a musical ear -- or make up for the lack of one.)

I'm looking forward to this exploration, saying to myself (doing my very best Jean-Luc Picard impression): "Let's see what's out there... engage!"