Friday, February 15, 2008

High-End Vocal Booth

So while I'm waiting for that el-cheapo Brauner VMX microphone (costs only a measly six grand) to arrive, I thought I'd build myself a world-class vocal booth...

Mission accomplished. Look here:



Okay... recovered from those stomach cramps from laughing too hard? But it really works! Lemme 'splain...

You see, I got myself that fine dynamic mic (Sennheiser e815s) a few weeks back for 30 Euros, but as my recording room (=my living room) had absolutely no acoustic treatment (except for when I closed the curtains), whatever I tried to record with it always had the (completely undesired) "ambience" of my living room on it. To make matters worse, the Sennheiser mic is not forgiving, at all, when it comes to plosives.

Now, if I already had more money that William Henry Gates III, I would probably just have plunked down the cash for a few of these fine things:

However, while I'm working my way up towards becoming a multi-trillionaire, I thought I'd simply apply the basic principle of such a reflection filter, using something I might have around the house. What I found was some foam packaging from some computer gear which had just the right size. So I nailed that to the wall (really!) right next to where I have thick curtains to the side of and behind the singer/speaker. The protruding end is stabilized via a thin thread that's connected to the curtain above with a safety pin.

The microphone cable loops through another safety pin above. That eliminates the need for a shock mount, as the mic dangles down freely from there, eliminating problems with low-end rumble sounds from foot falls, touching a mic stand, etc.

So far, so good. Total cost at this point: zero buckaroos. I did a test recording, and the mic sound had gotten really dry. Nice! The only remaining problem were those plosives, so creating a high-end pop filter was next on my agenda. At first, I thought I'd steal a pair of nylons from my x-rated girlfriend...



...but, alas: we're currently about 6,000 miles apart, so... no nylons in the house. I was just about to run out to the store to buy a pair... (Yes, they would have definitely, indelibly stamped me "pervert" or "cross-dresser", I'm sure... but that's the beauty of feeling perfectly comfortable with my self: it would not have mattered to me... :)

Where was I? Oh, right! I was just about to run out to the store to buy a pair of nylons to wear over the weekend create my world-class pop filter, when I thought I might try out my latest piece of clubwear, first: a leather-look shirt, made from a very thin elastic material. (Yup, I occasionally wear "stretchy pants", too!)

So I wrapped that shirt around my reflection filter and secured it with some thin pins. (That way, I can even wear the shirt again, once I've relocated to Berlin, where there's a real club scene...)

Next: the moment of truth, and - lo and behold - the shirt takes perfectly care of all plosives! And it doesn't even muffle the sound, at all... it's perfectly transparent... wow! Sometimes I amaze even my self!

Now, of course, I've pulled out all the stops, recording 48 hours/day... ;)

You can marvel at the first stunning results here:

http://www.myspace.com/deuxrochers

No, really! Go there now! It's cool! It's fun! It's the "proof in the pudding" for my claims here!

For the third and fourth recording there ("For my own part"), I "channeled" vocal grand master Orson Welles, re-reciting his opening narration to Alan Parsons's landmark debut album "Tales of Mystery and Imagination by Edgar Allen Poe" - three faves of mine rolled into one neat package.

The recording was done completely dry, without any equalization, without a low-cut filter, without any compression or limiting - just straight into a dirt-cheap Behringer Eurorack mixer, using it's built-in mic preamps (which, unfortunately, added considerably to the audible noise floor, along with the less-than-stellar onboard "HD" audio input of my digital audio workstation).

Then I fired up my wave editor application, trimmed the sound clip, did some very basic fade-in and fade-out, and then applied a really nice reverb. Done! (If Alan Parsons ever decides to do "Tales of Mystery and Imagination II", he can hire me to do the narration, don't cha think?)

Not too shabby for a zero dollar vocal booth, huh?

Oh, and about that other sound clip on my other MySpace profile (the third one): I'm not responsible for that one! I had stepped out of the room for a few minutes, and when I came back, it was just there on my MySpace profile... as if it had materialized out of thin air... ;)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Party Poopers

Well, I guess it had to happen eventually, now that I've finally surrendered completely to my SillyGene(ius)®: I'm working on another cover version.

This time around, Genesis' "Carpet Crawlers" from their landmark 1974 album "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" is 'the victim'. May Peter Gabriel forgive me!

Carpet Crawlers on YouLube

Okay, the title of the cover version is going to be:

The Party Poopers

Here are some lyrics fragments I've come up with, so far:

There is lamb stool under my naked feet
The stool is soft and warm, gives off some kind of heat
A silly rabbit scurries into the loo to get relief
Don't follow him back in there, there's bound to be... some mief!*

The fleas cling to the golden fece hoping they'll find a piece...

The stool covers the floor in the red-ocre corridor...

Chorus:
The party poopers don't use scoopers
They just wanna get in to get it ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-out
They just wanna get in to get it ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-out
They just wanna get in to get it ouuuuu-out!

There's only one direction in the traces that I see
It's upward to the third floor where the loo is said to be...

Okay, that's what I've got, so far. And, you know, some things just can remain in unchanged, like this:

"The liquid has congealed which has seeped out through the crack..."

Oh boy! I think I'm in trouble now...

Hey! Maybe I should do a complete cover album and call it "The Lamb Squats Down On Broadway"...

For the record: I totally love the original tune! The whole "Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" album was like a revelation to me when I heard it for the first time when it was released back in 1974. (Yeah, I am that old...)

I didn't get what most of the lyrics meant back then (still don't get some of them over thirty years later... Mr. Gabriel, Sir! You got some 'splainin' to do!), but I was fascinated, mesmerized, nonetheless.



* Mief - noun, German, meaning: unpleasant smell.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

So You Wanted To Know More About...

Okay, after receiving countless inquiries, with people wanting to know more about me, what I look like, where I live, etc., I've decided to be brave and peek out of my cave for a bit.

It is true: I am a hermit. (Hermann can confirm that... and, once again, he did not deliver any milk today...)

And I do live in a cave (with high speed Internet access). Look:


Man, the acoustics are great in here...ere...ere!

No need for an expensive confusion reverb...erb...erb...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

First New Tune In Ages

When I made the choice to completely focus on my artistic side upon my return to Germany, I had "soundscapes of epic proportions" in mind, and I still do for the MagmaSonic project, to which this domain is the "home on the web".

However, the first new tune that "came out of me in ages" was something completely different. Maybe my new (and at the same time very old) surroundings "infected me with the Volksmusik bug", maybe my SillyGene(ius)® (which has taken over completely) is responsible. We may never know... ;-)

It all started one day, when I was walking through the streets of Sleepytown, Germany (the small mountain village where I grew up), and all of a sudden, I had some lyric fragments and a melody for an oompah tune popping into my mind. (That's popping... not pooping... even though that would work for me, too... creative mind fertilizer, you know?)

Then the fine folks over at the Production forums "foolishly" encouraged me to enter the song contest on their site, even though I was so totally not ready, yet, for any "serious" music. I was eventually going to do a cover version of my favorite Bob Seger tune "Turn the Page", but that would have had to wait until 2008. So I resorted to bugging an old band buddy of mine from 30 years back, who has had a nice recording studio for many years and lives just a stone throw away. Armed with the more-or-less completed lyrics and the melody in my head, we sat down one day shortly before the end of 2007 to record this fun-spirited little oompah tune (with a touch of techno sprinkled in for good measure) in a matter of about 3-4 hours. Now get ready for this tune to get stuck in your head for days, once you listen to it. You have been warned! ;=)

Stream it from here:

http://www.myspace.com/sillytworocks

Or download it from here:

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6116074

What you hear is really me singing there. Yup, I have no shame! ;=)

We layered my voice about 10 times to make it sound like a whole "gang of beer drinkers" singing there. (A little trick my ole band buddy adapted from Queen: "Mama-mia, mama-mia, mama-mia, let me go! Magnifico-oh-oh!" Insert some serious headbanging here...)

Oh, and I did "channel my inner Heino" (a once very popular german oompah music singer) when I conjured up the appropriate singing style for "Bier für Mir!"

There is a whole slew of funny remixes in the works that shall start seeing the light of day as soon as I have finished optimizing and fine-tuning my computer recording workstation. So stay tuned for more "Beer for Me!"

What? You already wanna know more about those remixes now? Okay, here are a few teasers.

First up, the full-length version of "the original", with another one or two raunchy verses and lots of gimmicky sound effects. (I can already hear this version coming out of every tent this Octoberfest in Munich!)

Next up: a "Germlish" remix, with a German-English word salad the likes of which the world has never witnessed... ;=)

Also in the works: a Japenglish karaoke remix! With all new Japenglish lyrics: "Sake and Shiitake, Hai, Kampai!"(This version is the mega-hit in the Japanese download charts this year, and still in 2009! I can already see the staggering download numbers in perfect clarity!)

And then there's the "Alm-mighty" remix... ("Alm" is the German word for a mountain meadow where them cows graze... there are a lot of Alms in the Alps, so prepare yourself for Alphorns in this remix... Toooooot! ;+)

After I've brushed up on my rusty Spanish skills, the tune shall receive the Spanglish remix treatment, too. "Cerveza por Mesa!"

Maybe I should do a Frenglish remix, too. My girlfriend always tells me that my French is very good, and I don't even speak the language... ;+)

And for those who can't get enough of "vocal acrobatics": I'm also creating an a-capella / vocalizer remix, with just my voice filling in for all the instruments. (Yup, Bobby McFerrin has been a great teacher! Thanks, Bobby, and "don't worry, I'm happy"!) Now is the perfect time to figure out how my shiny new E-Mu sampler, the mighty fine Emulator X2, actually works...

Once all those remixes are done and the endless stream of cash from all those downloads around the globe starts flooding in, it should be about time to start touring with "The Stumbling BeerBunnies®". Participating in the Calgary Stampede on July 4 seems like a good starting point for our world tour. What, you never heard of "The Stumbling BeerBunnies®"?

Well, witness "history in the making" here...

(Please note: don't drink any beverages while reading those posts... I won't clean up your computer monitor for you! ;+)

Friday, December 28, 2007

Lucky Dawg!

As you know, I've only recently gotten back into making music. I'm thinking about doing a cover version of Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "Lucky Man"...



...but I'm not sure about my new lyrics, yet:


I have big ballses
And Ladies by the score
All dressed in Latex
And drooling on the floor...

Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!
Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!

Anastasia* and Jewell*
They make up my bed
A lube-covered mattress
On which I get laid...

Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!
Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!

(Tearing it up on the solo... TommyO!)

I go out to score
For my Country** and my King**
Of my Honor**, and my Glory**
The Ladies do sing!

Oooh, what a Naughty Man I am!
Oooh, what a Naughty Man I am!

The Mistress*** has found me
My sweat runs, as I try
But no pleading can save me
So I lie down and comply...

Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!
Oooh, what a Lucky Dawg I am!


That doesn't sound quite right, now does it? Please give me your honest opinion!


*Or replace with your favorite Fetish Goddesses
**Cannot be shown here, unless I wanna lose my PG-rating...
***Please don't tell Aradia, Isabella, Jean, Nicolette, Rubberdoll or Sara about this... or else I'm in deep doo-doo!